I have 57 things on my to-do list at the moment. Actually, I have 57 things on ONE of my to-do lists. This is not a joke.
But tonight instead of being productive I found myself flipping through the pages of my journal from the past year. I was reminded of the countless little things my heart has struggled with over the days.
Most of my longings, hopes, dreams and hurt never went beyond the pages of my journal and my little chats with God, but oh how thankful I am to be reminded of these struggles both big and small.
Looking in the rearview tonight I’m reflecting on how long I begged God for so many things. It went a little something like this:
“Okay God, I’m trusting your timing. Nevermind, I’m TRYING to trust your timing.” He responds, “wait.”
“Lord, I really thought you were going to come through for me. Why not?” He responds, “wait.”
“Alright Jesus, what is the hold up? I’m being faithful and you don’t seem to be delivering.” He responds, “wait.”
In hindsight I’m a little frustrated at myself and how easily I lose sight of my heavenly father’s promises.
Fast-forward to a brand new season of my life and God has indeed revealed his goodness to me yet again. He is so, so faithful.
He is faithful even when I lose faith.
So here’s what I’ve realized through experiencing a couple of finally answered prayers –
It was the days, the months, the year when I talked to God about the desires of my heart that I experienced true intimacy with Him. He uses these valleys and the longing of our hearts to draw us closer to him.
My heart simply would not have been ready in my own timing. Now I can see how much clarity and wisdom I gained in those moments with Him during the time of waiting. These are the things that prepared me for all I am experiencing now.
The waiting reminds me that all of these precious things in life are a gift and not a guarantee. Looking at my blessings through that lens reminds me to keep a heart of gratitude toward all of God’s goodness.
I have no idea where your heart is right now, but it could be longing for something big – a new career, a new love, a new house, a new baby, a new financial situation, a new marriage for your current love or maybe a new hope for your life. Whatever your heart longs for, just talk through it with Jesus.
My sweet friend, He will give you exactly what you need exactly when you need it. Just enjoy his friendship in the waiting! That’s the best part anyway.