High Heeled Dreams

Remember “Career Day” in elementary school? The firefighters, police officers, nurses, business men, etc. would all come to visit your classroom and tell you what they do every day. This was typically followed by a class activity where the teacher would ask “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Every single time my response would be … A CEO.

I’ve always had this “large and in-charge” attitude toward life and thought I knew exactly what I wanted.

This big dream of becoming a CEO led me to envision my life a little something like this:

  • Pencil skirt
  • Prancing around in fancy high heels
  • Sitting in a corner office
  • A shag rug and chic office décor.

I mean, what more could a girl want? That’s straight off of a Pinterest board. Can you say #BossLady?

Well, I’m not a CEO – not even close. But I have experienced a few years prancing around in my pencil skirt, high heels in a big tall building. Let me tell ya, it definitely has its perks.

But today, I took down all of my chic office décor from my corner cubicle (please note: cubicle, not an office) and soon I’ll wave goodbye to that tall building in my rear-view mirror.

From the outside looking in, I’ve been living a pretty good version of how I pictured my grown-up life.

However, something else has been going on in my heart. I found myself empty and chasing something more. The worst part is, I had no idea what that meant or what it would look like for my life.

I slowly started to bring this ache in my heart to God and my prayers went something like this, “God, I have no idea where I’m supposed to be or what I’m supposed to be doing. But if you’ll open a door, I promise to walk through it.”

Woah… big promise. Walking through new doors is scary stuff!

Fast forward several months and I was certain God had opened a door. I prepared my heart to walk right through, but then that door felt like it was slammed in my face.

My heart was crushed and confused. But, it wouldn’t be too long until I would realize that God’s rejection to that open door was really his protection for a grand entrance into something so much better.

You see, his timing and plans are always greater than our hearts desires.

You’re probably wondering where I’m headed if I’m waving adios to corporate America, so let me catch you up to speed. In a few short days, I’ll be stepping into a new adventure working for my church.

This is a total 180-degree turn and certainly not what Kindergarten me could have predicted.

The truth is, I’m not 100% certain this new career is going to be exactly what fills that hole in my heart. I like to think that it is, but once upon a time, I thought my last job would it “IT” too.

But I’m okay with that…

Day by day I’m growing and learning to accept the fact that dreams change. God is constantly stirring our hearts in new ways and leading us toward his purpose.  We don’t have it figured out, it’s certainly never what we think it’s going to be and at the end of the day changing course doesn’t mean failure.

I think it all boils down to the fact that God throws us these curve balls to see just how far we’ll follow him.

So here I go through that open door while trying my absolute hardest to follow God’s will. (P.S. I still have no idea how to actually do that).






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