The Jury is Out

When I was younger, I always made my big decisions simply by asking my Mama what to do. She never led me astray until one day she broke the news to me that she couldn’t make my decisions for me anymore. That was a tough day.

My next game plan for conquering hard choices was my faithful pro-con list. This seemed to be a perfect response to any big decision. In fact, I became such an expert on my pro-con lists that I received an “official” pro-con notebook as a Christmas gift one year. Who even knew that was a thing?

But sure enough, my lists didn’t quite cut it anymore. I grew older and my decisions grew tougher.

I moved on to “phoning a friend.” When I didn’t know what choice to make I would simply seek the wisdom of anyone and everyone in my life. I would get all types of responses and eventually land on whatever everyone else thought made sense.

I discovered that while I was seeking the wisdom of those around me with good intentions, I was losing my own voice in the crowd.

My voice; the strong-willed, independent and confident voice that I was so proud of was getting lost in the jumble of everyone else’s opinions and inputs. It made me feel even more confused.

Now after many attempts, I think I’ve landed on the sweet spot in making tough choices:

The jury is out.

Only two things remain:

  1. My heart
  2. God’s will

I stopped. I stopped writing out all of the things that “made sense” on a pro-con list. I stopped calling on the opinions of people who simply couldn’t see all of the cards. I started sitting in the quiet. I started sitting in the presence of the Holy Spirit and seeking with my whole heart the direction I should go.

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” – Proverbs 16:9.

My friends, this is one of the greatest sense of peace I have felt. Suddenly my voice wasn’t lost in the crowd anymore, it was confident again and calling out to God. The crowd was gone so I could see and hear so much more clearly God’s will.

It’s not magic and there is still so much uncertainty, but my heart is at peace. My heart is at peace with God’s ability to establish my steps and the plan that’s ahead. That’s an awesome thing and everything else will fall into place.

And now, the jury is out and I stand before my one true judge.





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